A Night In the Past

Something I swore I would Never do again...I would NEVER Blog after a night of intoxication... but I am sober now.

only the power of my hometown can give me strength to stay up till the sun rises.... thanks again my friends... its a new day...

HOW TO be a Roadie....

In this brief tutorial I will explain not just how to go about be a road cyclist, but even take it a step further; This is How to become a "Roadie".

YOU WILL NEED:

-a CARBON road bicycle

-matching ROAD helmet

-your favorite cycling teams uniform kit (bib, jersey, gloves, etc...)

-a razor

-lots of Gatorade and Cliff bars

Step 1:

Get the acquired razor and one of your many bottles of Gatorade. While drinking the Gatorade, use the razor to shave all of the hair off of your legs.

This will help to make your legs look amazing as you hit the road on your bicycle.

STEP 2:

Once you have shaved off the hair from your legs, you wait. Wait till Sunday. There is nothing that screams "ROADIE" more than the weekend warrior. Riding daily and commuting is for cyclist with no money.

Step 3:

ITS SUNDAY! Time to go for a ride! Get out your carbon fiber bike. Be sure when you dress that you wear your favorite team kit. It will make you feel like part of your favorite pro team.

And remember, no matter what any cyclist tells you, it is ok to sit upright and with a low seat........ aerodynamics is overrated.

Step 4

This is the most important step. Its about etiquette. Remember that you probably payed well over $2000 for your Carbon road bike, therefore you have earned the right to take up the whole trail or bike lane as you ride. If you pass another cyclist head on, be sure that you only nod hello if they are themselves a 'roadie' and be sure to scoff at people passing you on steal and aluminum road bikes and spit at hipsters on fixed gears... they are scummy and the only reason they are faster than you is because they are poor so they have to ride their bikes everywhere....

Step 5-Post ride care

Be sure you have a safe place to put your bike for the week.... and if you do decide to commute on it at all, be sure that you always have a clean set of spandex and jerseys.... you can never (and I mean NEVER) be caught on your bike wearing street clothes. That would be so gross.

I will now leave you with this, an anthem to the "roadie" in all of us....

:)

Jacob In Real Life....

A new Approach.....

I am running on empty. I don't know what it is, but I haven't been able to blog..... but I have decided on something new, a whole new approach (though I never did really have an approach to begin with...) I will be continuing TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN, but it will be more rare (probably even more so than it has been now) and the remainder will be a series of HOW TOO's.... you'll see... the first is soon to come :)